Want a Healthy Relationship and Marriage? Learn How Forgiveness Can Help.
All healthy relationships have times when you will upset each other. You may even be hurt by something your mate does or was supposed to do that he or she did not do. It is only normal in a healthy relationship. Most of the time, these annoyances will be small in nature. There may come a time when your spouse or does something that may cause you a great deal of hurt and/or pain. You may even wonder why you are even in the marriage to begin with. It is during these times that you need to experience the power of forgiveness. Forgiveness here is defined as letting go of the negative feelings associated with being hurt and angry. Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has happened, but rather acknowledging the other person’s humanness. It means acknowledging that they have hurt you and then you choosing to let go of all negativity. It means being able to move on and learn from what has happened. You need to feel the healing that takes place from forgiveness. Forgiveness can cleanse the soul. It allows you to be free. Think about it for a minute. If you can’t let go of negative feelings caused by what has been done to you, then you become a slave. The negative emotions, as well as those associated with those feelings, become chains that bind you down. Without forgiveness, you now allow the actions of others to determine your life for you. You are now no longer in control of your own destiny to a certain extent. You allow your life to be governed by hate, bitterness, and in some cases revenge. You give up the right to determine your own destiny and allow the person who has wronged you to control your life. By simply saying enough, and letting go, you are now free to do whatever you like. You are free to become whatever you want to become and not what hate dictates. You are free to love and be loved. Depth of character is gained. Growth as a person is achieved. The development of our true inner selves occurs as we let go. How to Forgive Why do so many people not let go? Well, it isn’t always easy. It requires less effort to get mad and blame others for all the things not right in our lives. It requires work and effort to forgive. It requires that you put aside the beast within you and demands that you hold yourself to a higher standard. Because it is difficult to forgive, many people will not forgive. They won’t forgive because they focus too much on themselves. They look at what they feel they have lost and are not willing to move beyond themselves. One of the keys to forgiveness requires you to look for ways to help others. Get out of your comfort zone and find a way to help someone else. Do volunteer work or help in your church. Get involved in the community or spend more time with your children. Help lift up those that struggle and have challenges in their own lives. A couple of things will happen. First, you will probably find there are others out there much worse off than yourself. It will also help you take the focus off of yourself and help you count your blessings. Counting your blessing will also help you see you have so much to be thankful for. It is very difficult to harbor negative feelings if you give thanks for what you have. Finally, remember that everything worthwhile in life requires effort. In spite of being hard to forgive, it is that difficulty that makes it worthwhile. If it were easy, then there would be no growth and development; there would be no strength of character gained. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship without forgiveness. Marriage Success Building Exercises Do you hold grudges and stay angry when you feel wronged? If so, write down all the ways you and your family have benefited and been blessed by harboring anger and bitterness. __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ Write down experiences you have had in your life when you have let go of feelings of anger and bitterness when wronged. How have you benefited? How did it make you feel to let go? __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ What About Forgiveness?How can forgiveness bring healing to the soul? Do you have a great story about forgiveness? Share it! Return from Healthy Relationship2 Forgiveness to Marriage Problems Stumbling Blocks
 Custom Search |
