Stumbling Blocks That Create Marriage Problems

Most marriages will encounter marriage problems of some sort or another. People in successful marriages find ways to overcome these stumbling blocks. Knowing what some of the major stumbling blocks are can better help you to eliminate potential marital problems.

Look at it this way. Imagine you and your family are going to leave on a trip. You plan on driving to your destination. Do you take time to map out your route? Don’t you also take time to find out what the weather is going to be like during your journey?

Knowing that it might be raining, or snowing, may determine what route you take, what you take with you, and how you drive.

In turn knowing what the major martial stumbling blocks are will prepare you in dealing with these obstacles. You become empowered and in turn have the ability to avoid many of the marriage problems that seem to plague so many.

Various things can also cause issues in a marriage.

Click here for 12 things to avoid ensuring a great marriage.

Stumbling Block 1: Healthy Communication

Proper communication is important to avoiding marital problems. Where there is faulty communication there will be problems. Love will not be able to grow.

Communication is more than just saying words and expressing ideas. The words you use, the tone of your voice, and your body language all make up how you communicate. It is not just what you say but how you say it that will determine how you are perceived by others.

Keep the following in mind when conversing with your spouse:

1. Communication allows us as human beings to express ourselves and eliminate ambiguity in relationships with others.

2. Eliminate words like ‘always’ and ‘never’ when describing people’s behavior. They are usually extremely inaccurate when describing others behavior.

3. Separate people from their behavior.

4. Watch your tone of voice.

5. Be a good listener.

6. Strive for win-win situations when trying to come to agreement on something.

Remember, good communication can eliminate many marriage problems and concerns.

More Information on Healthy Communication

Stumbling Block 2: Selfishness

Selfishness is the root cause of most marriage problems. Too often people focus more on what they feel they aren’t getting out of their marriage and not so much on what they should be contributing.

The main problem with selfishness is that it focuses on oneself. Successful marriages become successful because both people are focused on giving more to the marriage than they expect in return.

Try it for awhile. Focus entirely on giving more to your spouse with no thought of receiving anything in return. Do this for one week and see what happens.

Also keep the following in mind as it relates to selfishness in your own marriage:

1. Selfishness focuses only on self and does not add value to others.

2. Selfish behavior can be changed by simply changing your focus to service to others.

3. Selfish spouses can change when they see the consequences of their behavior. Love them unconditionally and they will want to change.

4. Many times, working through hard times is all that is needed to correct a marriage in trouble.

Eliminate selfishness and you will eliminate a myriad of marriage problems.

More Information on Selfishness

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Stumbling Block 3: Forgiveness

Martial problems can occur when people are unwilling to forgive and let go. You may feel that forgiveness is for the person receiving the forgiveness. You may also feel that granting forgiveness means somehow condoning what has happened.

Forgiveness is actually for the person who forgives another. It allows you to put aside anger and bitterness so you can grow as a person. It does not mean that you condone what has been done. It means you are in control and free to move forward with your life. You are free of the negativity that stifles growth and progression.

So it is in marriage. You must be able to forgive in order to love each other unconditionally. It is forgiveness and unconditional love that will allow you to overcome all marriage problems that may beset you.

Remember the following as you try to forgive:

1. Forgiveness was designed more for the forgiver than the one offered forgiveness.

2. Forgiveness means acknowledging that we are all capable for poor choices.

3. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what was done to us and allowing it to occur over and over again.

4. Forgiveness means letting go of hate and bitterness so we can go forward with our lives.

5. People who will not forgive make it difficult for themselves to give and receive love.

More Information on Forgiveness

Stumbling Block 4: Priority

Marriage problems will occur when you do not make your marriage a priority. If your marriage is not a priority, then other things will become more important.

Remember, you love the things that take up your time and attention. If you do not put time and effort into your marriage, you both will fall out of love. The result will be your marriage will fail.

People on their death beds don’t wish they had spent more time at the office. They don’t wish they had saved their company more money or had made more sales. People think of things left undone. They think of relationships they wished had been better. They wish they had spent more time with family and friends.

Make your marriage a priority. In so doing, you free yourself from possible regrets. You free yourself of marriage problems that can inhibit both you and your spouse from achieving joy and happiness!

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Prayer – A Way to Resolve Marital Problems

Prayer can solve a multitude of marriage problems. Prayer can give you strength and peace. It can be a form of meditation.

Prayer is a form of communication with Deity. Many years ago, most families prayed together. It allowed them an opportunity to give God thanks for what they had and to give thanks for each other. It also allowed them to pray for what they needed and to pray for each other.

Family prayer will allow you and your spouse to bond together. Hearing your spouse thank Deity that you are a part of their life can fill your heart with great joy. It is difficult to harbor ill feelings towards anyone that you hear pray for you. It is also difficult to harbor ill feelings towards anyone that you honestly pray for.

Use prayer to draw closer together keeping in mind prayer can do the following for you:

1. Couples who pray together and for each other rarely have problems.

2. Regular daily prayer will allow you to focus more on others, and what you can do to help them.

3. Thanking God for what you have forces you to appreciate what you have and become a thankful person.

4. Praying for others will make it easier to forgive others and let go of negative feelings.

More Information on Prayer

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