Congratulations to you and your husband for the birth of your baby! Children can be a great blessing. I love my children and am grateful everyday for them.
First, I would go back to your doctor and talk with him about the side effects you are experiencing. He should be able to provide you with advice as to what to do about your birth control.
Everyone's body makeup is a little different and what works well for one person may not work as well for someone else.
Next, the issue of your husband looking at pornography is one facing many, many wives these days. There are those out there who think it is harmless and hurts no one. I do not agree.
I understand why it hurts you and makes you question yourself. Understand that you are not the one with the problem. Viewing pornography can be as additive of drugs, alcohol, or gambling.
I read an article a couple years back that talked about the additive nature of pornography. All it takes is for someone to look at pornography for about four or five hours a day for three weeks and they can become an addict. This same article also stated that this fact is not lost on the pornography business. The makers of pornography are constantly looking for ways for people to become addicted even quicker.
The reason it is addictive is that the brain releases endorphins while one is viewing it. It literally produces an adrenaline rush. Combine that with what the mind can imagine and it creates a situation where real life can no longer compete with fantasy.
The pictures of the women that your husband is looking at have been touched up and enhanced. Those women can't even compete with themselves in real life!
Here is what you need to do. You need to pull your husband aside and tell him how you feel. Try to control any anger that you have when you talk to him and make sure you constantly assure him you love him while having this conversation . Explain to him exactly how it makes you feel and that you feel like he is not being faithful. He may try to say that since he is not actually involved in any physical sort of improper relationship, that he is faithful.
Let him know that part of being faithful means he needs to channel his sexual energy to you as his wife and not somewhere else. What he is doing is taking sexual energy that he should be directly to you and is using pornography to direct that energy to himself. It is selfish and is not being completely faithful.
Finally, if he can't seem to stop then it may mean he has developed an addiction. As with any addiction, very few people overcome addiction by themselves. Encourage him to seek the assistance of a counselor and/or a support group that can help him.
Learn as much as you can about pornography addiction so you will also know how to deal with it. If your husband has become an addict simply asking him to stop won't work.
Remember though, you are not the one with the problem here. He is.
