Relationship Problem Advice That Empowers Meaningful Communication
Relationship Problem Advice 1. Be Careful With the Words You Use Words mean things, and using the wrong words can completely change the context of a conversation. Terms to avoid are words such as ‘always’ and ‘never’. These are extremely negative words when used in the context of describing others or their behavior. Using these words to describe people is inaccurate. For instance, saying ‘he always leaves his shoes in the way’ is simply not true. This implies that the shoes are there on hundred percent of the time. Even if the shoes are there ninety-five percent of the time, to say ‘always’ is simply not true. The person accused of the behavior now feels defensive and feels that their character is being questioned. They may even feel that the accuser is lying. In a sense they are because they have exaggerated, even if it is only a little. What can make this worse is if you, the accuser, begins to believe this. You now paint an exaggerated picture of the person in your mind and the problem becomes even worse. Remember this relationship problem advice. Get rid of the words ‘always’ and ‘never’ when dealing with others. These words do not accurately describe behavior and only reinforce erroneous ideas in your own mind. Relationship Problem Advice 2. Learn to Separate People From Their Behavior People are all generally good. There can be exceptions, but for the most part people can’t be judged solely on particular behavior. Remember, all of you love your family members, but what you may not like is their behavior. Separating the two will allow you to maintain a loving, constructive dialogue with your spouse. Failure to do so will only have a negative effect on a relationship. It will kill love and cause both of you to forget why you fell in love in the first place. It will only serve to plant negative, destructive images in your hearts and minds. Relationship Problem Advice 3. Watch Your Tone of Voice Using a harsh, critical tone with others will completely undermine your use of words. Your tone of voice should be used to enhance the words you use. Tone can help to accent feelings of love and tenderness. If improperly used, condescension, sarcasm, and other negative feelings are communicated to others. Use the relationship problem advice of watching your tone of voice to have much more meaningful conversations with your spouse.
What Are The Secrets to Better Communication?Do you have any tips on how to better communicate with your spouse? Maybe you have a funny story that illustrates the importance of great communication? Share it! Relationship Problem Advice 4. Body Language Communicates What You Really Mean Unless a person is a sociopath with absolutely no conscience, one’s body language will usually give him or her away. You simply cannot hide what you think. Someone who tries to put one over will always do something to give away their true intent. For instance, when people are recalling something, they will look up and to their left. They are using their left-brain, which is associated with recalling and analyzing data. If they look up and to their right, they are using the right side of their brain, which is the creative side. This side of the brain is used in creative functions such as inventing stories. These tendencies, however, are not absolute, but they are usually correct. Other things people sometimes do include crinkling their forehead and raising an eyebrow. They may turn their head slightly to one side or another. They can become fidgety, and they may perspire somewhat. Their pupils may also dilate. People will also keep the palms of their hands face down. They may subconsciously point their body towards the door. Their voice may become higher pitched, and they may speak much more rapidly than usual. Their breathing may become also rapid and shallow. These are just a few ways body language can tell if someone is being less than honest. Body language can be used as a means of building rapport. For instance, pay attention to how your spouse speaks. Notice the words they use. Do they use phrases such as ‘I feel’ or ‘it seems’? If so, then they may be more emotionally inclined. They trust their feelings when making decisions or dealing with others. If you use these same words or phrases when describing things to them, you will find that they will respond much better to you. Another example is if your spouse use phrases such as ‘I see’ or phrases that are visual in nature, they are probably more visually oriented in processing information. They relate well to pictures and drawings, and they learn best when they can see something. Armed with this knowledge, you now have a better idea of how to get ideas across to them. This doesn’t mean you must prepare a PowerPoint Presentation to have a conversation, but you get the point. In addition, what is their rate of speech when they speak? Analytical people, for instance, typically speak much slower and more deliberately than most people. Their minds may be going a thousand miles a minute, but they are usually very deliberate in their speech. People who tend to be more emotional speak much more quickly; their energy spills over into the way they talk. So what happens when you take an analytical person and put them with someone who is the life of the party? They drive each other nuts. The analytical person will simply tune out the other person. The animated person feels their partner is not with it and somewhat of a wet blanket. So what is to be done? If you want to connect with someone, then speak at the same rate of speech as them. It’s amazing what happens. Your brain will actually start to process information differently for the duration of time you are engaged in the conversation. You will find yourself able to relate much more to the other person. Try this relationship problem advice some time and see for yourself. Relationship Problem Advice 5. Listening is Vital to Communication I have heard several numbers in terms of what the split should be between listening and actually speaking in a conversation. I personally think one should try to spend at least sixty percent of the time listening as compared to forty percent or less actually speaking. This is not an absolute, but rather a goal. Be flexible. Sometimes you might be the one doing most of the talking. Ask open-ended questions to allow the other person to speak about themselves. People love to talk about themselves and the person skilled in getting others to speak about themselves will be revered. Remember, a good listener places more focus on hearing and processing what the other person says. Over the years I have been through several forms of sales training. It is all based upon finding the need behind the need and gathering information. I have sat through many hours of training and one bit of information stands out more to me than any other. I remember a trainer saying you need to count to five before answering a question a customer has, or when they make a statement of some sort. It does two things. First, it allows you to briefly ponder what has been said and to formulate a response. Second, it helps ensure you hear everything the customer has been telling you. Third, it gives the impression you are thoughtfully formulating a response and you have indeed been listening to what has been said. I remember thinking at the time that the ‘count to five rule’ didn’t seem very valid. I decided to try it anyway, and it instantly improved my ability to hear and comprehend what was being said. Instead of being focused on what I was going to say next and missing more than half of what was being said, I was now hearing everything people were telling me. I promise you instant results by implementing the ‘count to five relationship problem advice rule’ when speaking with others. Return from Relationship Problem Advice Healthy Communication to Marriage Problems Stumbling Blocks
 Custom Search |
