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Energize Your Marriage With Proven Relationship Tips!

Relationship Tips for Understanding Intimacy

There are many people out there all too willing to give relationship tips regarding intimacy. Giving of oneself is the only way two people can hope to achieve the oneness and unity that comes from true intimacy. Too often people think of intimacy as something sexual, but this is only one part of being intimate. True intimacy, the kind that is life changing and fills one with joy and happiness, is so much more.

There is physical intimacy, spiritual intimacy, and emotional intimacy. In order to achieve oneness with another human, there must be intimacy on all of these levels. This knowledge can be one of the greatest relationship tips to assist the two of you in your quest for oneness.

Physical Intimacy

Too often people view physical intimacy as sexual in nature, but it is so much more than that. All of us have a need to be touched in a nonsexual way. Touching has been found to reduce stress and reduce pain. It can comfort when one is down, and when one needs encouragement. Touching has even been found to give encouragement and validation.

All people from the time they are born have the need to be touched and loved. In third-world countries I have heard stories of babies in orphanages that don’t receive the touching, holding, and cuddling that children need. They don’t develop normally, and sometimes they lose the will to live and simply die. That need does not change as people grow older.

With that being said, how can physical intimacy be attained by touching in a marriage? Husbands and wives need to allow a certain amount of touching without the expectation of sex. It is okay to hold hands. It is okay to hug each other. It is okay to kiss each other in front of the kids. As matter of fact, these simple displays of affection do more to help reassure children that all is well between Mom and Dad than almost anything else they can do. Kids feel secure knowing that parents are willing to show affection to each other.

A man I greatly admire once told a story of how one of his daughters used to look forward to seeing him and his wife kiss each other and express affection towards each other. She told her father how she could always tell that all was well when Mom and Dad hugged each other and kissed. Even if her parents had a disagreement, the displays of affection her parents showed to each other reassured her that all was well in her family. It allowed this young girl to focus on being a child and to excel in school because she knew she didn’t have to worry about her parents.

Use these relationship tips about physical intimacy to become closer as a couple.

Spiritual Intimacy

Next let’s discuss spiritual intimacy. This can mean different things to different people. One thing is clear, however; if the two of you share the same religious beliefs, it is much easier to experience spiritual intimacy. Participating in religious ceremonies, ordinances, and meeting together can help bring couples closer. It will allow the two of you to study together, to pray together, and experience joy and learning together.

What if the two of you aren’t religious or don’t share the same beliefs? This obviously makes things much more difficult. First, try to determine what values, morals, and beliefs you have in common, then focus on these commonalities. It makes no sense to focus on what you don’t have in common. You will find the two of you have more in common than you are aware of. The simple act of determining those areas of common interest will help bring you together. I would also recommend that you then write them down. It helps to be able to physically look at a list and see that there are indeed areas of common spiritual interest. You will be amazed at what the two of you do in fact have in common. Also include any adversity you have overcome as a couple. This could be the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, sickness in the family, or any difficult situation you overcame together. Some of the most spiritual experiences I have had came out of adversity, and they brought my wife and I closer together.

What is Intimacy?

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Emotional Intimacy

Finally, let’s discuss emotional intimacy. It is about sharing the way we feel, what we think, and our inner most thoughts. It is about removing the mask you put up for people and allowing your spouse to truly see you for who you are. It means allowing your spouse to become your best friend, your confidante.

True friends share how they feel with each other. It means listening without passing judgment. It means validating what the other person feels and it means building them up. It means accepting responsibility; you are also responsible to a large degree for your spouse’s happiness and mental well-being.

A good question to ask yourself would be whether you add value to your spouse?Is your spouse better off because they married you? I’m not saying necessarily financially, I mean are they a better person now they have you in their life? If the answer is no, then you have some work to do.

Everyone needs intimacy in his or her marriage. The intimacy that parents enjoy with each other is passed down to their children. As parents achieve the oneness that comes from total intimacy it provides children with stability. It provides children with the love they need in their lives to become well-adjusted adults.

Relationship Tips Points to Ponder

1. Intimacy is more than just sex.

2. Not all touching has to lead to sex.

3. Men tend to focus more on physical intimacy for approval and validation.

4. Women tend to focus more on how they feel.

5. If your lives are very busy, then schedule time for physical intimacy.

6. You can achieve spiritual intimacy as the two of you overcome adversity or share spiritual experiences together.

7. Emotional intimacy comes from effective communication.

These relationship tips will empower the two of you to more than just physical intimacy. They enable the two of you to become soul mates!

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